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Solitude

from Ephemera by Venatrix

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lyrics

Gotta let go, gotta get out
Gotta get my shit together, i could do so much better
Gotta reset, gotta remind myself:
You were happy before the party
I was so distracted, i was so damn bored
I forgot the seasons pass as though none of us were ever born
(But you are not a cat in a box)
You owe their eyes & ears nothing
I keep my distance, my distance keeps me alive
Gotta stop breathing the air that isn't worth breathing
Shut my mouth, still my hands, silently exit the room
(Gotta stop thinking about the ears behind the curtain)
The eyes behind the door
Existential noise
Forgot the place, forgot the time, forgot the name, forgot the rhyme
For the reason language failed, logic failed, loyalty failed
(But you are not a cat in a box)
You owe their eyes & ears nothing
I keep my distance, my distance keeps me alive
I am not a hermit or a mystic
Not a recluse or a cynic
If i did not want to be alone
I would not be alone, you know?
I ain't ever needed much, so fuck this fear & fuck my luck
Call it dharma, call it debt
I've heard it called equivalent exchange
Strange to age but what?
Is it worse to get old or not know love from hurt?
To not know need from want
From shit those bastards shoved down our throats?
To not know how to stop the bleeding
Get back to the concrete for another beating
To not know friend from foe
I know the world is a brutal place
But don't you dare forget:
We find ourselves in pieces
Chemistry unraveling like clouds covering the stars
Just vibrations trying to feel alive…

credits

from Ephemera, released March 15, 2022

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Venatrix Milwaukee, Wisconsin

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